I love Beto's. MMMMMMMMMMMM California burrito with extra cheese. (Although I can't help but wonder if the rumors about the cat/dog meat are true. No cow tastes this good ya know.)
Anyway, Kyle got me some tennis shoes today. Which is odd, since I only wear girly shoes (although these are adorable). As a matter of fact, I didn't even own socks until Kyle bought me some because he got tired of my feet stinking.
And the best news of all: I remembered what was shocking enough to break the ground: When Dumbledore died in Harry Potter (sorry if you didn't know that). YES the very foundation of my life fell apart. Figuratively speaking, of course. So check that off the bucket list (now I just need to figure out how to get to Paris, sleep with Channing Tatum, win the Nobel Peace prize, and learn how to make sushi). I am so excited for Harry Potter... I'm nerdy enough that I went to all the conventions of the midnight book releases.
Also, a side note: Thanks to Sterling I love getting my legs waxed. It's been three weeks and STILL no hair! HELL YA! If only I had made this discovery during shorts season. Now the only thing that can enjoy my hair-free legs is my jeans...and Kyle.
This post really isn't that good. I'm not in a witty mood, I'm in a pretty bad one actually. Long day, mixed with no money, mixed with the cold, mixed with other things is not a cocktail for humor.
Random Question: What happened to all the respectable girls in the world?
Random Fact: Mario (from the video game) was originally named Jumpman.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Work work work
I have to send 2 shout-outs really quick:
1- Amanda... thank you for being my first follower. Pretty soon I'm going to have as many as Charles Manson and you can say you were the first. But no seriously Amanda, thank you. I love you to death.
2- Sterling... thank you for giving me this idea. Sterling is an amazing bloggess herself (check out her incredible blog.... STERLING'S BLOG Sterling is really probably the most amazing, strongest woman I have ever met. Have you ever met a woman who just glows from amazingness and positiveness? If you haven't, you really should meet her.
So I love the days where I have a billion deliveries, and I'm jammin out to Fly Like A G6 (1- that song is so damn catchy and 2- are they talking about Pontiac G6 or is there a plane called a G6? We had this argument at work today)... and anyway so I'm jammin and I think I'm making good money. Then I count my tips and I don't even make enough to put the gas into my car that got me to those deliveries. SO F*** YOU POTHEADS WHO STIFFED ME TODAY! NAG CHAMPA DOESN'T COVER ANYTHING UP I CAN STILL SMELL IT DOUCHE BAG!
But I did deliver to the coolest guys ever today. I knock on the door and they invite me in. They have absolutely no furniture in the whole house... they literally only have 3 computers playing Left 4 Dead 2. How freaking awesome is that? They sit around and kill zombies all freakin day. "Screw ESPN I have an axe and a crowbar!" (Video game nerds just live in the world of kickass. If you're wondering, my version of kickass also includes hiphop dancers and ethnomethodologists.) Anyway, the coolest thing about these guys is that they are probably gonna be the next dude who made facebook guy. Or the next Bill Gates if you didn't understand that last reference. (Famous people should never have names like Zikkerablyeburg or whatever Facebook Man's name is).
I wish I could sit on my ass and play video games all day. If you don't like Halo or Call of Duty, you just really have no enjoyment in life.
So I saw this study awhile ago. The results were literally groundbreaking enough to be put on MSN and the evening news. (I really want to see something shocking enough to ACTUALLY break the ground... hmm new thing on my bucket list). But anyway, so here it is: PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF FRIENDS GET SICK MORE OFTEN. What? That was what I clicked on the link and waited 5.8 seconds for it to load for? And then to make it even worse, they felt the need to explain it to people in a 68 line article! This one is almost as good as "The more fast food you eat, the more weight you gain" study. (And on a side note... I hate the fat people who sue McDonald's. If people can sue for that, I want to sue the real estate company for putting a house in the way of my car.)
I want to know who gets paid to figure that out. I really think there's just some big fat guy with a cigar and a manwig (toupee? I think) who thinks of the most obvious thing ever and writes it down as a "study."
So, I'm off to play beer pong. Which is really just me being drunk chucking a ball and running around talking to everyone while Kyle makes all the shots. And I still take the credit and say I kick ass at that game... which I do.
P.S. Random question... In the movie Surrogates, Bruce Willis's wife is a hair dresser. But since they are all robots and can look however they want, why do they need to get their hair cut? Their hair doesn't grow first of all, and secondly wouldn't the robot fixers change the hair instead of having a hairstylist?
P.P.S. Did you know that karaoke in japanese means "empty orchestra?" Weird how that works out.
1- Amanda... thank you for being my first follower. Pretty soon I'm going to have as many as Charles Manson and you can say you were the first. But no seriously Amanda, thank you. I love you to death.
2- Sterling... thank you for giving me this idea. Sterling is an amazing bloggess herself (check out her incredible blog.... STERLING'S BLOG Sterling is really probably the most amazing, strongest woman I have ever met. Have you ever met a woman who just glows from amazingness and positiveness? If you haven't, you really should meet her.
So I love the days where I have a billion deliveries, and I'm jammin out to Fly Like A G6 (1- that song is so damn catchy and 2- are they talking about Pontiac G6 or is there a plane called a G6? We had this argument at work today)... and anyway so I'm jammin and I think I'm making good money. Then I count my tips and I don't even make enough to put the gas into my car that got me to those deliveries. SO F*** YOU POTHEADS WHO STIFFED ME TODAY! NAG CHAMPA DOESN'T COVER ANYTHING UP I CAN STILL SMELL IT DOUCHE BAG!
But I did deliver to the coolest guys ever today. I knock on the door and they invite me in. They have absolutely no furniture in the whole house... they literally only have 3 computers playing Left 4 Dead 2. How freaking awesome is that? They sit around and kill zombies all freakin day. "Screw ESPN I have an axe and a crowbar!" (Video game nerds just live in the world of kickass. If you're wondering, my version of kickass also includes hiphop dancers and ethnomethodologists.) Anyway, the coolest thing about these guys is that they are probably gonna be the next dude who made facebook guy. Or the next Bill Gates if you didn't understand that last reference. (Famous people should never have names like Zikkerablyeburg or whatever Facebook Man's name is).
I wish I could sit on my ass and play video games all day. If you don't like Halo or Call of Duty, you just really have no enjoyment in life.
So I saw this study awhile ago. The results were literally groundbreaking enough to be put on MSN and the evening news. (I really want to see something shocking enough to ACTUALLY break the ground... hmm new thing on my bucket list). But anyway, so here it is: PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF FRIENDS GET SICK MORE OFTEN. What? That was what I clicked on the link and waited 5.8 seconds for it to load for? And then to make it even worse, they felt the need to explain it to people in a 68 line article! This one is almost as good as "The more fast food you eat, the more weight you gain" study. (And on a side note... I hate the fat people who sue McDonald's. If people can sue for that, I want to sue the real estate company for putting a house in the way of my car.)
I want to know who gets paid to figure that out. I really think there's just some big fat guy with a cigar and a manwig (toupee? I think) who thinks of the most obvious thing ever and writes it down as a "study."
So, I'm off to play beer pong. Which is really just me being drunk chucking a ball and running around talking to everyone while Kyle makes all the shots. And I still take the credit and say I kick ass at that game... which I do.
P.S. Random question... In the movie Surrogates, Bruce Willis's wife is a hair dresser. But since they are all robots and can look however they want, why do they need to get their hair cut? Their hair doesn't grow first of all, and secondly wouldn't the robot fixers change the hair instead of having a hairstylist?
P.P.S. Did you know that karaoke in japanese means "empty orchestra?" Weird how that works out.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Start.
Well, here we go. I was told a few weeks ago that I am entertaining and I should start a blog. I had been complaining for the last few months that I have no hobbies, so rather than picking up crocheting I decided, hell, might as well try it.
My blog is not going to be one of those my-life-is-so-perfect-look-how-cool-I-am blogs, nor will it be an amazing story of something I've conquered (although that would be cool).
I am just a very random person who makes a mountain out of an anthill, and who apparently entertains people.
My goal for this blog is to "discover" myself. No, just kidding. I'm actually just pretty self absorbed and love to tell stories. One thing I do want, however, is to get 1 person from very state to read my blog. Then when I meet someone, they'll say something like "Ya I work for NASA doing biochemical engineering" (I don't know if that's really something that happens at NASA) and then I can say "Ya, well 1 person in every single state has heard of me. Put some ketchup on THAT. (My trademark, copyrighted saying)." I highly doubt this blog will ever be huge, but if I can make money talking about myself, then bring on the cash.
So, I'll start off introducing who I am:
I'm a forensic psychology student. The way one's mind works fascinates me. Within ten minutes of meeting a person, I analyze the crap out of them. I'm not doing it to be rude, I just like to figure people out. Every person is a book, a story that I can learn from.
I try to be poetic but it comes out like the sentence above.
When I say random, I honestly mean RANDOM. I think about at least 300 things per minute, and the thoughts are usually useless.
I have a new random fact and a random question every single day, which I will probably post.
I am very opinionated, blunt, and (unfortunately) judgemental. BUT 99% of people think it's amusing.
I am an advocate for abused children. My life goal is to change child abuse laws in Utah. (YOU HEAR THAT UTAH!!! I'M COMING AFTER YOU IN ABOUT 10 YEARS!!!!) And technically, I'm really nothing but a motivated college student who volunteers to help abused children. Sounding professional just seemed fun.
I also rescue abused animals. I have three rescued dogs: Chamira, Maggie, and Roxy. I spoil them so much that now they are just obese barrels with legs. And I talk to them like they are humans. Guaranteed I will reference my dogs at least 3 more times today.
I have an amazing tattoo artist of a boyfriend, Kyle. I hate girls who talk about their boyfriends all day, so I'll try not to. But he is just too good not to say something about. We have been together for almost 2 years and lived together for over a year, so it's not just a middle-school crush that will be over in a week. He's also super tall, which I love because I can wear high heels around him.
I deliver pizza. I will most likely complain about how people suck at tipping daily. I'm a horrible driver and directionally impaired. I honestly don't know why I still have a job... I think this just goes back to the whole entertaining people thing.
I have no common sense.
I am a pessimist, but I act like I'm optimistic.
I grew up in an old-school biker family. I love me some Harleys.
I am waaaay too open.
I'm the worst liar you will ever meet.
I giggle uncontrollably in the absolute worst situations.
I cry more than a girl my age should. I just love a good cry though. That and mixed with the fact that I hate water, I'm always dehydrated. If you pinch the skin on my knuckles, it'll stay up until I bend my finger (totally gross I know).
I'm a magnet for stupid situations. I always have a story because something rare always happens to me. You don't believe me? Here are some examples: I got into the middle of a drug raid while delivering a pizza, I ran my car into a house, and I was the first person in my hometown to ever be bitten by a hobo spider. Those don't even make a dent in my series of stupid stories.
I snort when I laugh. And I laugh harder at my jokes than anyone else. On that note, my favorite thing in the world is laffy taffy jokes. So simply entertaining.
I absolutely HATE bad grammar. So, if I ever make a grammitical error, feel free to post a comment telling me what I did wrong and how I can fix it. Thank you. Don't be nitpicky though.
I thoroughly enjoy calling people immature. I don't know what it is but I love it. It's kind of like the "I'm rubber you're glue" song, once it's been said, anything they say after that just proves your diss even more.
I'm a nerdy kid trapped in a nice body (not to be conceited.) If my body mirrored my personality, I would probably snort a lot, have braces with food stuck in them, wear glasses with tape in the middle, and carry around an inhaler and a calculator. I'm not complaining though.
I vividly daydream at least 88% of the time (you'll learn to hate my made up statistics). I just love to envision myself trying new things. Although my horrible anxiety will most likely prevent me from doing any of those things. When I thought of starting this blog, I pictured myself curled up in a blanket in front of a fireplace, with a glass of Chai Tea in my hand, pursed lips, hair in a bun, and my glasses on the edge of my nose. This really is how I look right now in my head. But in all reality, I'm sitting in a basement on a torn-up brown leather couch, dirty clothes surrounding me, staticy hair, and my three dogs laying on a different section of me. They think my blog is funny. On a side note, I think I'm giving Chamira a complex. She now answers to fatty. Literally.
One day, I envision myself cooking in Paris with a view of the Eiffel Tower, a big loaf of bread, and a cool long, skinny cigarette. I love to cook (although I'm horrible at it) and I have an extremely odd obsession with France.
So, there a go. A huge mess of a person.
P.S. Have you ever seen the highways named after someone? Like V. Hansen highway? How do I get a highway named after me? Wiley Highway. Jaime Highway. Something cool like that.
P.P.S Did you know, that there are over 650 people in Paris every year who get hospitalized for slipping on dog crap? My dogs would have a hayday there since they have this new obsession with eating crap. (See what I did there, I incorporated my random fact, Paris, and my dogs all into one fun little statement.)
My blog is not going to be one of those my-life-is-so-perfect-look-how-cool-I-am blogs, nor will it be an amazing story of something I've conquered (although that would be cool).
I am just a very random person who makes a mountain out of an anthill, and who apparently entertains people.
My goal for this blog is to "discover" myself. No, just kidding. I'm actually just pretty self absorbed and love to tell stories. One thing I do want, however, is to get 1 person from very state to read my blog. Then when I meet someone, they'll say something like "Ya I work for NASA doing biochemical engineering" (I don't know if that's really something that happens at NASA) and then I can say "Ya, well 1 person in every single state has heard of me. Put some ketchup on THAT. (My trademark, copyrighted saying)." I highly doubt this blog will ever be huge, but if I can make money talking about myself, then bring on the cash.
So, I'll start off introducing who I am:
I'm a forensic psychology student. The way one's mind works fascinates me. Within ten minutes of meeting a person, I analyze the crap out of them. I'm not doing it to be rude, I just like to figure people out. Every person is a book, a story that I can learn from.
I try to be poetic but it comes out like the sentence above.
When I say random, I honestly mean RANDOM. I think about at least 300 things per minute, and the thoughts are usually useless.
I have a new random fact and a random question every single day, which I will probably post.
I am very opinionated, blunt, and (unfortunately) judgemental. BUT 99% of people think it's amusing.
I am an advocate for abused children. My life goal is to change child abuse laws in Utah. (YOU HEAR THAT UTAH!!! I'M COMING AFTER YOU IN ABOUT 10 YEARS!!!!) And technically, I'm really nothing but a motivated college student who volunteers to help abused children. Sounding professional just seemed fun.
I also rescue abused animals. I have three rescued dogs: Chamira, Maggie, and Roxy. I spoil them so much that now they are just obese barrels with legs. And I talk to them like they are humans. Guaranteed I will reference my dogs at least 3 more times today.
I have an amazing tattoo artist of a boyfriend, Kyle. I hate girls who talk about their boyfriends all day, so I'll try not to. But he is just too good not to say something about. We have been together for almost 2 years and lived together for over a year, so it's not just a middle-school crush that will be over in a week. He's also super tall, which I love because I can wear high heels around him.
I deliver pizza. I will most likely complain about how people suck at tipping daily. I'm a horrible driver and directionally impaired. I honestly don't know why I still have a job... I think this just goes back to the whole entertaining people thing.
I have no common sense.
I am a pessimist, but I act like I'm optimistic.
I grew up in an old-school biker family. I love me some Harleys.
I am waaaay too open.
I'm the worst liar you will ever meet.
I giggle uncontrollably in the absolute worst situations.
I cry more than a girl my age should. I just love a good cry though. That and mixed with the fact that I hate water, I'm always dehydrated. If you pinch the skin on my knuckles, it'll stay up until I bend my finger (totally gross I know).
I'm a magnet for stupid situations. I always have a story because something rare always happens to me. You don't believe me? Here are some examples: I got into the middle of a drug raid while delivering a pizza, I ran my car into a house, and I was the first person in my hometown to ever be bitten by a hobo spider. Those don't even make a dent in my series of stupid stories.
I snort when I laugh. And I laugh harder at my jokes than anyone else. On that note, my favorite thing in the world is laffy taffy jokes. So simply entertaining.
I absolutely HATE bad grammar. So, if I ever make a grammitical error, feel free to post a comment telling me what I did wrong and how I can fix it. Thank you. Don't be nitpicky though.
I thoroughly enjoy calling people immature. I don't know what it is but I love it. It's kind of like the "I'm rubber you're glue" song, once it's been said, anything they say after that just proves your diss even more.
I'm a nerdy kid trapped in a nice body (not to be conceited.) If my body mirrored my personality, I would probably snort a lot, have braces with food stuck in them, wear glasses with tape in the middle, and carry around an inhaler and a calculator. I'm not complaining though.
I vividly daydream at least 88% of the time (you'll learn to hate my made up statistics). I just love to envision myself trying new things. Although my horrible anxiety will most likely prevent me from doing any of those things. When I thought of starting this blog, I pictured myself curled up in a blanket in front of a fireplace, with a glass of Chai Tea in my hand, pursed lips, hair in a bun, and my glasses on the edge of my nose. This really is how I look right now in my head. But in all reality, I'm sitting in a basement on a torn-up brown leather couch, dirty clothes surrounding me, staticy hair, and my three dogs laying on a different section of me. They think my blog is funny. On a side note, I think I'm giving Chamira a complex. She now answers to fatty. Literally.
One day, I envision myself cooking in Paris with a view of the Eiffel Tower, a big loaf of bread, and a cool long, skinny cigarette. I love to cook (although I'm horrible at it) and I have an extremely odd obsession with France.
So, there a go. A huge mess of a person.
P.S. Have you ever seen the highways named after someone? Like V. Hansen highway? How do I get a highway named after me? Wiley Highway. Jaime Highway. Something cool like that.
P.P.S Did you know, that there are over 650 people in Paris every year who get hospitalized for slipping on dog crap? My dogs would have a hayday there since they have this new obsession with eating crap. (See what I did there, I incorporated my random fact, Paris, and my dogs all into one fun little statement.)
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